Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Glasses

I'm getting new bifocals! (kinda, not really)
They're gunna be so colourful and rad =)
Oh yess.. and they're gunna be extra, extra thick
(just in case I'm found in a situation similar to the one below)=P



LOL

Monday, December 29, 2008

Resolutions?

As the end of the year approaches a majority of ppl follow that "New Years Resolution" B.S. (excuse my french).

Personally, I've never really associated resolutions with the new year. Why not start every new day with a resolution and follow that through. Why does the start of a year have to represent a change? Why wait that long to do something for yourself?

So.. my new year resolution, however contradicting this might be, is to start everyday with a resolution ;) =P

Some of my day starters include:
wake up earlier if went to sleep earlier; OR wake up late if went to sleep late
(or just to wake up non-groggy lol)
be on time for everything
(EVERYTHING! even those dumb one hour 8am-ers)
drink more water and eat more fruit and veggies
(how about... try and squeeze in breakfast everyday)
Oh yess.. and get me some A's in school!! (lol)
(slowly day by day)

A Dying Lover's Wish

Next time I'll tell you what I'm thinkin
Those cigarettes and all your fun
I shoulda stayed inside, ignored
But inside I was dying, was bored

Everything doesn't look like the movies
Nothing was started so nothing has to end

Still you take me away
and you take your time.
Moving the world
and shaking the sun.

All the guilt we were building
Stood and paved a road to something new
Should we listen?
There's nowhere else to turn

Move a little closer but don't say a word
I don't want to know.
Just breathe, slow ..
and lean towards me.

Heart to heart, soul to soul.
I need this more than you know.

No guilt.
No emotion.
A dying lover's wish.


Or should it be a lover's dying wish? lol hmmm

I came up with this listening to various songs on the radio haha (JT and RiRi's -Rehab, amongst one).

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas!!

Wishing everyone a wonderful Christmas. One filled with love, joy, and happiness.

All the best to you's and your families.

Hope Santa was fair to you this year ;)


"Christmas is forever, not for just one day,
for loving, sharing, giving, are not to put away
like bells and lights and tinsel,
in some box upon a shelf.
The good you do for others
is good you do yourself "

- Norman W. Brooks

Sunday, December 21, 2008

I don't want to say this aloud

I can't express myself today,
cant say anything out loud,
a lack of words to describe this feeling.

Lost.

I dont want anything.
Actually... I want everything.

I want time
I want knowledge
I want music
I want the world

What can I do?
What can I actually achieve ?
How much is reality? How much is a dream?

How can one be fulfilled
when their happiness is empty
too big it must be
the smell of it disgusts me
because how? when? and what should I do to achieve it?

It's difficult. It is. I tried working at it.
I should just keep doing something,
Doing something is better than sitting on the arse and pondering, dreaming..
it won't come like that.

Just saddens me.
Why today, out of all days, does this feeling have to seep through?
It's hidden on a regular basis.. hidden by a thin layer of crust.
But under this crust is something hot, something alive, and in motion ..that is ready to explode.
Ready to surpass everything in its way.
Destruction or Desire?

What is it?
I can't figure it out.
Something is inside of me but it can't come out.
Something is blocking it.. and I dont know what that is..
What wants to shine through.. and why isn't it coming?

What is it that I want?

The worst feeling, this feeling, not knowing
.. it sits there.. for me to figure it out.
But how?
It's so tormenting. So frustrating.
Just seep through dammit.. make this easy.

Madame Dubois

LOL well here's smtn unexpected.

My name is mentioned in Cinderella!
Cinderella! how lovely!
Yes, I was watching the Disney classic.. but from a different perspective.. that of a 21 yr old not 8 yr old lol.,. and it is such a fun and clever movie!

Anewho if you click the link.. and go to time 8:38.. you'll here it :D
.. and I thought my name was strangely unique =P
I bet Madameoiselle Dubois doesn't spell hers with a 'Y' though.. although its odd our last names are quite similar..

Also funny.. n I'm sure my bf will agree.. that I am a daughter of a general haha! how strange!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QBN0yfgjNM&feature=related

Friday, December 19, 2008

King John of Canada

Let it snow, let it snow~ says the King of Winter.






On this beautiful snowy day I've begun reading a rather interesting book I picked up a couple of days ago from the library. The novel, specifically, "a novel of the near future" written by Scott Gardiner, is a political one that describes a series of accidents (or rather, political errors) that lead to a King of Canada. Imagine! A Canadian monarchy! I've read about 50 pages of the novel.. and it is something else! It is funny, clever, and enraging (at some points I just felt like slapping the author haha).. I am definately enjoying it!

Let me give you an example of something I found rather mind boggling:

"There's a game we used to play, a parlour game I guess you'd call it, the kind of riddle you can only have played on you once and then must play on others. We called it My Aunt Minnie, but I'm sure it goes by other names. The object of the game was to figure out why Aunt Minnie liked certain things but didn't like others. It was a logic game, with a very clear connection linking all of Minnie' preferences ( Aunt Minnie likes connections but not things joined). You played it with a group so those who'd figure it out could help torment those who hadn't. (Aunt Minnie likes puppies but she doesn't like dogs). The first stage drives you crazy- then comes epiphany- and much glee afterwards in adding to the distress of those for whom enlightenment hasn't yet descended: My Aunt Minnie likes the moon but doesn't like the sun. Aunt Minnie likes darkness but she doesn't like dark. Does she prefer the night or the day? Aunt Minnie likes neither night nor day- though Minnie is partial to the afternoon. As individual playes solved the puzzle, they'd begin to add their own contributions. Minnie likes kittens but she doesn't like cats. Minnie likes swimming but she doesn't like to have swum. Minnie hates autumns but she does love the fall...... Minnie likes any word with double letters" p.27


The author adds some Canadian history, mentions Canadian art, and there is even an international award that the King initiates- "the Golden Leaf" (somewhat like a Nobel Prize)! I haven't gotten to how the King becomes King.. it is written from the perspective of his best friend, the Royal advisor. I enjoy reading about things that are known to me- like the Muskoka woods, the Royal York Hotel in Toronto, and old city of Montreal (they're all mentioned).

Anewho to wrap this up.. all of this really sparks an interest in politics. I'm going to keep reading political novels.. no matter how boring they are (lol) because as a voter I need to understand this country (I've kinda lost track of what's what and who's who). Like, are we still a colony? a rhetorical question. I'm not quite understanding the governor general bit. I need to step back to Grade 8 Canadian history lol (talk about being honest :P) .. and all this asking her permission to run away from parliament? and the backstabbing of Harper? A coalition? WTF? who's side are these ppl on?

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Glam of the 1940's-1950's

I've been youtube'ing a lot lately.. searching for some glam. Searching for something fun, something me, and something different. I must have watched about 50 videos.. lol.. and I found that the era 1940-1950.. is unbelievably awesome. I'm in love with the music, in love with the actors, with the dancers.. and the women! They were so sophisticated and proper.. so classy. The women definately outshun the men!

My favourite actress would have to be Rita Hayworth ( a video I have below) and my fav female dancer would be Cyd Charisee (also below). In the male category.. I was intrigued by the performances of Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, James Dean, and Rock Hudson. Ooof!

Actress
Rita Hayworth,Gilda, 1946



Cyd Charisse, Meet Me in Las Vegas, 1956

Am I.. or Are They?

This past week I've been attracting all sorts of weird incidents.
I'm not a believer of bad luck- but lately it seems that bad luck is all I've been attracting. It obviously isn't an extreme case of 'unlucky'.. but it is peculiar how everything panned out. So my question is.. am I the unlucky? or are they?

Omitting the minor cases (of which this idea would be viewed as an obsession).. three major things leave me concerned:

1. The Driveway Hit n Run Incident
On a snowy Saturday, a minivan (I believe it was a Chrysler) didn't make the turn leading to my house and hit my car which was parked on the driveway. The car skid about 90 degrees onto my front yard. The fate of the minivan? He hit the tree, pulled out of the drive way.. and fled the scene. Damage- bumper, lights, trunk, and dents in my car. All is good with insurance though. Evidence- the dude fled but left behind a piece of his license plate covering; which has a phone number engraved. I C.S.I'd that shit (mainly googled lol) and found out where the car was purchased.. bad news is, so what? I have no license plate number; don't even have the exact model of the car- it was dark. On the bright side: have an even hotter rental to drive now ;)(until my car is fixed) Ballerrrr!

2. Corneal Abrasion
There's a small price to pay for looking good. In short, I tossed the geeky glasses and got too comfortable wearing contact lenses. The outcome: month old contacts, stress, and a particle in the eye= scratched cornea. One word : pain! My eyeball was scratched, red, swollen- it was very difficult to open it, difficult to read, and painful to look at anything that emitted light.

3. Bus Accident
Today on the way to school (to write my final exam..yaa!) the 30 bus, going about 50-55 km/h wammed a minivan that forgot to stop when coming out of a car wash. Please, who does that? You're supposed to look both ways when pulling out onto a busy street. The sound of two vehicles colliding is unpleasant.. and very bumpy. Noone was hurt- and the bus driver was a very kind man, he handled everything professionally. The damage: minivan (also chrysler) torn off bumper; disfigured front (it looked like someone took scissors n cut the anterior of the car off- shock!).. the bus was in mint condition though =) lol.. thank Gosh nothing happened, and thank Gosh buses are built to ensure out optimal protection!

Shall I also mention.. the truck that ran a red light on the yonge/dundas intersection while pedestrians had right of way to cross from all directions?
Or driving on a small road when WHAMO a chick from a parked car swings her door open full length, full speed. Shit.. I've never been so ticked off b4 at the carelessness of ppl.

My conclusion: Not only do you have to think for yourself but you have to do the extra work and think for others to keep yourself safe.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Swing Sally Swing

Betty Boop a forgotten classic!
Now this is dance =) Sally Swing brings it to the floor lol.

Lately I've been inspired by the swing/jazz era of the early 20th CE. The dancing, the music, and of course the movies- are all amazing! It's a good thing we still have some record of this era- we can imagine what living @ that time was like.
The sudden like and urge for the revival of this music was intrigued by a somewhat dull night out this week. The bar/club we went to was so dry.. and the dance floor was full of wall flowers.. which annoyed the heck outta me lol.



I love how in the opening scene: Science is Golden (lol).. and I've never seen Jewish guys portrayed like that in any cartoon b4!
This one was taken from 1938- I checked out other cartoons from that era and they were so racist and stereotypic :S what a different world!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Britney Vs. Lily Allen; Womanizer

Hmmmmmmmmm...

Kinda like Lily's version more.
It's more jazzy n classy..
<3 that

(click title of blog for link)

The Young Folks

This song was stuck in my head 4 the longest time:



If I told you things I did before, told you how I used to be
would you go along with someone like me?
If you knew my story word for word, had all of my history
would you go along with someone like me?

I did before and had my share, it didn't lead nowhere
I would go along with someone like you
It doesn't matter what you did, who you were hanging with
We could stick around and see this night through

We don't care about the young folks, talkin' bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks, talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about our own folks, talkin' 'bout our own stuff
all we care about is talking, talking only me and you

Usually when things have gone this far, people tend to disappear
No one would surprise me unless you do
I can tell there's something goin' on, hours seem to disappear
Everyone is leaving, I'm still with you

It doesn't matter what we do, where we are going to
We can stick around and see this night through

And we don't care about the young folks, talkin' bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks talkin', 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about our own folks, talkin' 'bout our own stuff
All we care about is talking, talking only me and you

Starry Eyed

Scratch. Black. Ouch.

Walking starry eyed.
The feeling that everyone stares at you.. disgusted by you?
Thanks friend.
But maybe it is just you. Maybe they're not paying you any of their mind.
It's your imagination toying with you//
they can't help their curiosity.
So they stare.

Its the hurt that causes you not to forget.
Its contantly there, the pain.
It makes you feel ugly.
Unapreciated.
Can't look at the mirror- at this monster.
It's personal disgust. It's physical, mental.. crazy.

Just a matter of time when you can feel normal again.

Imagine..
Not able to see yourself anymore.
Not able to see anything anymore.
That is pain. It bottles curiosity.
Closes your sences.

But soon it will be over.
Soon you can stare back at them.
Soon you can be them..
while someone else, starry eyed, is frightened of themself.

--> Written about my starry left eye, the corneal abrasion, that kept me in pain for about two weeks. It wasn't very pleasant (lol), I missed 3 exams cuz I couldn't see straight and couldn't focus on anything that was bright.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Happy Birthday...

... to me!!

Finally 21




Age is inevitable. Growing up is an option.
As soon as exams r over>> it's time to partay ;)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Never felt soo..

betrayed and angry.

The dude fled the scene// I watched in shock as he drove off!
I did actually hope he would come back.. but he didn't.
How do ppl like that live with themselves? How do they have the courage to run like that? I don't get it.
Now my car is damaged =(

Thursday, December 4, 2008

If a Girl Wants to Dance



I rather feel like expressing myself now,
and I can certainly use a release!
You don't need to be formal or cute about it!

To You, My Friend

What happened to you, my friend.

Where have you gone, why have you left me?

Lonely and empty is my life without you here.
Your smile, your cheap jokes, I loved you dear.

Where did you go? Why did we part?
How did this happen, such a burden on my heart.

Were we nothing? Were we just a one time deal?
I thought our friendship was solid. I thought it was real.

When did this happen? How did we drift so far?
I heard you moved out and have your own car.

If I saw you one day, just passing by
I'd greet you ever so warmly but inside I would cry.

I lost you somehow and I feel cold cuz deep down I know,
It was me who pushed you away: so bitter, so cold.

What I do now see is that you're a call away.
But we're both so busy- different lives. There we go pushing our frndshp astray.

Although the days go by and I sometimes forget,
the good times we've shared to the loss of memory r not a threat.

Just know, and this gives me great peace,
that you were a highlight in my life-and u are greatly missed.

You've left an imprint on my soul; in my life, played a big part.
I'd see you everyday -didn't know how fortunate I was- it hurts me now, like a dart.

All of our memories and all of our silly rants,
stay dear to me, my heart. Together we eliminated all the Cants.

The Coulds, the Woulds, the Shoulds and Regrets,
all that gone, why should they be present?- they're just inner debts.

So to you my friend,
remember me well.. this is not a good bye just an emotional spell.
I wish you..
with all the honesty and truth in my heart
that you achieve your desires
and get everything for which you aspire.
I might see you soon; could tell you in person, non-complex.
But words on paper for me r better expressed.

(And I promise that on our birthdays of thirty:
we will read all our 'books', sing all our songs, relive the bouncing beds and secret closets, roll up the transfers, squirt milk from our noses, dance to our favorite rhythms, drink our favorite drinks, share lipgloss and curling irons, bring old and new bf's into view.. a celebration of us!
like we pacted we would do)

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Don't Call Me Baby

Seriously.

I've always hated being called that word.
Makes me shiver.
It's so demeaning to me..
so cold.. so meaningless.

orr..it could be just me lol.



But I def. feel no guilt in calling this hottie 'baby', baby =P

Thursday, November 27, 2008

BANG BANG! Beautiful Dirty Rich



Beautiful,dirty dirty rich rich dirty dirty beautiful
dirty rich dirty dirty rich dirty dirty rich beautiful

We got a redlight, pornographic,the dance fight,systematic,
Honey but we got no money

Our hair is perfect, while were all getting shit wrecked,
It's automatic, honey but we got no money

Daddy im so sorry, im so s-s-sorry yeah, we just like to party, like to p-p-party yeah,

Bang Bang, we're beautiful and dirty rich
Bang Bang , we're beautiful and dirty rich

We live a cute life, soundfematic, pants tight-ter than plastic
Honey but we got no money

We do the dance right, we have go it made like icecream toped with honey
But we got no money

Daddy im so sorry, im so s-s-sorry yeah, we just like to party, like to p-p-party yeah

Bang Bang, we're beautiful and dirty rich
Bang Bang , we're beautiful and dirty rich

A bang bang bang, bang bang bang, beautiful, dirty rich
A bang bang bang, bang bang bang, beautiful, dirty rich

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Call

-Hello George.
Hey gorgeous, you havin a good time?
-Not particulary but I did what I came here to do.
What? you split them up?
-No, I said goodbye.
Good girl. I'm proud of you... It must disturb you, the dancing?
-I have big plans for dancing, just give me.. maybe 30-35 mins.
Oh the misery, the excuisite tragedy. I can picture you there sitting alone @ the table.. in you lavender gown...
-Did I tell you my gown was lavender?
..hair swept up, haven't touched your cake, nails drumming on the tablecloth like you do when you're upset. Perhaps looking at those nails thinking "God, I should've stopped all my evil plotting to have tht manicure"..
-George.. I didn't tell you my gown was lavender.

Suddenly a familiar song (8)..

..then you're off your chair in one swift movement, wondering, searching, sniffing the wind. Has God answered your little prayer? will Cinderella dance again?
and then suddenly the crowds part.. and there he is.
Sleek, stylish, radiant with charisma.
Bizarly he's on the phone.
But then.. so are you.. and he comes towards you, moves of a jungle cat.
You think- what the hell. Maybe there will be marriage. Maybe there will be sex.
But by God there WILL be dancing!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Sober-



Love this video.

I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest
Or the girl who never wants to be alone
I don't wanna be that call at 4 o'clock in the morning
cause im the only one you know in the world that won't be home.

Ah the sun is blindin. I stayed up again.
Oh I am findin. Thats not the way I want my story to end.

I'm safe up high, nothing can touch me
But why do I feel the party's over?
No pain inside, you're my protection
But how do I feel this good sober?

I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence
The quiet scares me cuz it screams the truth
Please don't tell me that we had that conversation
Cause I won't remeber, save your breath
Cause whats the use?

Ah, the night is callin
and it whispers to me softly, "come and play"
But I, I am fallin
And if I let myself go I'm the only one to blame.

I'm safe up high...

Subway Parody

Evrytn's Gunna be Aight..
he sings while playing his guitar.
She looks at him and smiles.. how does he know that?
He smiles back- those words repeated in a mellow tone.
It's funny, she thinks..
his feet.. he has no shoes on, just socks that hit a xylophone toy.
lol in her mind.. but serious to him.
His sound is so good, so different, so pure.
He must be right. Everything will be alright.

She's not getting that glove back.
Spoof on her.. she's been cheated.
How did a walk so short turn into a losing game?
The worst feeling is starring the enemy in the eye..
witnessing their wrong against you.
She took that glove.. took it away from you..
metres from where it first landed on the floor.
It now lies in her buggy. You can't get it back but do you dare get it back?
Will its loss affect you or her? Her life, her feeling may have gotten better.
The glove, her gain, travelling in different places- keeping her warm;
if not out then inside of her.

He stands alone.
Expresses to people rushing by, the only thing he knows best.
His instrument, native to his people, native to his land, native to his heart.
His eyes, blind to the world's colours, do not capture the people moving past him.
He hears them, while singing his song, rushing about, hustling to catch the train.
Emotionless, cold, late.
But do they notice him? Are they ignorant of his pretty sound?
He is confined to the lines on the floor. That box- his sacred ground.
His living- deemed as another vendor; but what does he have to share?
Slow down people, breathe, relax, feed your inner conscious with passion.

Time.
Chasing us like a curse.. chasing those who do not slow down.
Everything is timed; minutes, hours, days, months, years.
A ritual. The train. The school schedule. The route.
Chasing us, changing us to beings without heart.
Nearly run over a cat 2day. Effin cats sitting in mid road.
Spurred on the side walk- can't slow down I said.. lateness is not a virtue.
The world turns in time. The universe focuses in on you.
Slow down, you, it says.
Let time catch up.
Although we try. We can not fool it.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Go Preach..

I think a certain someone..
who goes to York U...
and loves what he does..
should go to school.

And I mean go to a lecture hall- not the library, not the York apartments he works at..
but he should get some ppl, get a pointer stick.. and conduct a lecture. I know this someone can do it cuz he has great leadership skills, charm, and confidence. DONE! -

Boo, wake up!

This strike is bull shit. You're paying for an education not a right to sit on your ass n do nothing (that includes waiting for the next xbox game to come out :@).

Love you

Womanizer



I don't know where I've been.
But this song is fierce. I love it-- love the words and Britney in this vid.
Her voice sounds really good -- like she's finally being herself not some ditz.
Props to you girl!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Scissor Sisters... Let it Sink In

After 3 rounds of pitchers and two shots of tequila, I think I finally understand what it feels like to be "colourful". All jokes aside, I've never imagined myself in that world b/c I've never been exposed to (or met) people so passionate about their sexuality. Well, maybe I over exagerate- cuz I do know some ppl proud of their sex haha.. but they're all straight. Aneways, I'm gunna spice up this blog post a lil bit and tell a story about four ppl- Sushi, Sashimi, Tea, and Richard- who just happened to experience the unexpected.

------
She swinged her long blonde hair away from her face as she continued to mouth the words of her favourite song. She began to tease the crowd with her long fake eyelashes as they watched quietly, taking in her every move. Little did they know how nervous she was and how sensitive she was to the words of others. But it didn't matter tonight. Not tonight, when she had this opportunity to finally express who she really was. She aggressively grabbed a chair from a nearby table, threw herself forward onto it, and slowly touched her body. Her legs, strong, looked good with her black platform boots and short black mini skirt. Everything about her gave away who she really was. But she didn't care. She continued to caress herself, an attempt to seduce the audience, using their attention to empower herself.

------

Once upon a rainy day in November, a random urge of excitement filled four very different people. Each and every one of them was open with their sexuality which was uniquely shaped by their past experiences. But on this day they were quite similar> maybe it was the drive for beer.. maybe it was the need to open up after a long, dull lecture.. but nevertheless they met up, got loose, and surprisingly shared with eachother things that were left anonymously at that table in that particular pub.

Sushi and Sashimi have a long history together. Through good times and bad times, straight times and slightly gay times.. they always stick together. Never is a moment dull and never is a day empty when they are with eachother. Sushi, a cute and sophisticated fellow, always had a great sence of style. On this day, he teased everyone at the pub with his long hair tied up, revealing ever so slightly his perfect skin> complexion. His dress shirt, buttoned properly to the top, worked incredibly well with his Gucci/Dolce glasses from under which he observed the dance floor. His character calm, collected, yet wild and mysterious.
Sashimi, always open and adventurous, had a bad-ass smokey reputation. His hair short, accenting his perfect facial features, was complemented by the dark, tight, and very revealing shirt he was wearing. The owner of hundreds of shoes; he chose special dancing flats that he matched perfectly with his socks especially for that night :D. Sashimi: confident, handsome, and fearless yet sensitive, kind, and a lover at heart. Overall, the two were a balance of eachother.. the ying and the yang.

On the other side of the table was Tea, a very bright and charming girl. Unfortunately her cute smile and bright eyes belonged to a special someone who appeared and disappeared as Tea dictated. Special was their relationship because it was out of this world, something very unlikely but highly addictive. Tea carried her lover everywhere she went- to school, to work- a challenging relationship of which Tea was clearly in charge. In short, Tea held the whip-- whatchaaa!-- and took no BS from anyone.

Constantly in motion and seeking excitement.. yet the most gullable person out that night was Richard. Richard, who has a very open personality has one default- which he openly shared with everyone at that table that night. Although he has thighs of thunder and a bum to die for- they will never be put into good use because of his blind vagina. Nevertheless, Richard danced and paraded around the dance floor like a champ.. catching and trapping his prey with his pink fluffy scarf.

------
It all started at about 21:00 hours. The dance floor was clear, the colourful decorations were up; an innocent setting for a perfect, quiet party. After being tricked by Sushi and Sashimi into another shot, Richard sprung from his feet and took a spin around the dance floor. It was safe- they had the whole florr to themselves. So all four made their way to the dance floor and took advantage of the hott beats that were playing by DJ Princess. All was good, the DJ was jammin, and the four tapped their feet n shook all they had.. until.. the scissor sisters walked in. Three tall, handsome, bodacious babes.. made their way to a table on the side of the dance floor. Their heavily painted eyes were observing the Fab 4's every moves.. possibly stealing Sushi's dance moves.. and possibly eyeing down Tea's figure. The four felt a bit threatened and made their way back to their table. They talked it out, consulted the possibilities, and figured out their next move. Richard and Sashimi were semi- attracted to these three and were determined on chopping them before the night was over ;). The four settled on a new plan which was to order a few more drinks- sour apple, tequi, sunrise, and cesar- and rock out some new dance moves without giving much attention to the three nemices. This worked for some time... BUT
to their surprise.. the three drag queens outdid all of them. They each grabbed the mic, and performed solo acts on the little stage beside the DJ. It was over. The fab four were fighting a war that they could not possibly win.

The first performer, a tall woman with tall black boots and a short black, shiny dress rocked to a song by Katy Perry. The crowd went wild as she swung her hips about, kicked her legs, and tossed her hair from side to side. Sushi and Sashimi were appauled.. which the queen instantly picked up. She approached them, pointed at them.. and said into the microphone "scissor sisters.. think about it.. let it sink".

------
To be continued... maybe lol
there is more to write but I'll end here for tonight- short stories take too much effort lol =P

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Today is...

... a day devoted to cleaning le room *sigh.
It has to get done b4 nexx weeks cram period =)

CLICK on the title of this blog to hear more haha
(I'm bad with technology- its my first time sound recording- so its huge in size)


Oh man this cracks me up everytime! i'm such a loser =D

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Sorry Santa

I thought I solved my thesis project problem.. but it turns out Santa Claus wasn't good enough. lol.

When I was volunteering today, one of the patients I was working with knocked over a Santa Claus figure. The patient, with a severe case of dementia, was crying and arguing when I tried to convince her to walk with me. Dementia produces hallucinations- and in her case, she was claiming the devil comes to her room and beats her at night =S. UUUmmm so she didn't want to walk cuz she was hurt very badly; I did manage to convince her that I was the good guy-- but she still refused to walk.

Aneways.. as I lifted this figure up, I couldn't help but notice that its body was made of a plastic cone! I have been having a bit of trouble recently looking for plastic cones. I need about 30 of them for my experiment. The real lab duty cones, "imhoff cones", are about 30-40$ each.. which is waayy out of my budget. So I thought I'd try out this Santa Claus cone- its plastic, looked pretty sturdy..

So here I am all smiles.. all nerdy, walking downtown with Santa Claus in my arms =) Turns out it was a bad idea.. but my prof gave me credit for trying haha. I did manage to put a few smiles on ppls faces.. but then I got some pretty weird ones on the subway.. so I started petting Santa and touching his beard haha. O man they probably thought I was.. loco!

On a happy note... this weekend looks pretty chills again =) I hope to put on my dancing shoes and relieve some tension n stress.
To answer an interesting yet offensive comment- I know what I want and I'm not letting anything stand in my way- I'm sorry if its not liked and if it comes out the wrong way. In other words there's a line btwn school n being "cool" haha =)
(neways, I doubt this blog is read by that individual so he'll just have to live with it and I'll keep this apology to myself for now =P)

**Oops :$

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A Man's World

Song from Seal's New Album:



This is a man's world. This is a man's world.
But it would mean nothing without a woman or a girl.

You see man made the cars, to take us over the road.
Man made the trains, to carry the heavy load.
Man made the electric light, to take us out of the dark.
Man made the boat for the water, like Noah made the ark.

This is a man's man's man's world.
But it would mean nothing, nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl.

Man thinks about a little baby girl and a baby boy,
Man makes them happy, 'cause man makes them toys.
And after mans made everything, everything he can,
You know that man makes that money, to buy from another man.

This is a man's world, but it wouldnt mean nothing, not one little thing
without a woman or a girl.

He's lost in the wilderness
lost in the bitterness
He's lost, lost somewhere

The world would be nothing without a woman.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Back in Black

What an effin amazing weekend!!

The Social on Friday nights is hott hott hott. They bust out 80's/90's rock/ hip hop its pretty jamming!

I got a chance to live the 80's! WOW freakin good times.. I murdered the dance floor!
(like i always do haha, no shame, no shame)

Saturday was sick tooo @ Madison's.. no dance floor tho (booo!) But i still busted out some country dancing to some country tunes haha.

Aneways, while there I learned one important thing:

1. Guys and girls can't be friends.. w/o that weird sexual tension :/

U gotta be CRYSTAL clear with the boys- i have a bf, i only like u as a frnd.. done. Once thats over n done with, let the fun times roll. You can't be a 'maybe', you can't be an 'oh yea btw i forgot..'.. that only gives 'em hope =\. Single men r like a pack of wolves.. **bad experience.


Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Thank You

Mood: Overjoyed!
The sun is out! The day is beautiful! What more does one need in life?

[ Yes I know it was only yesterday that I was tired, reckless, and losin my mind (lol).
But you'd be amazed what a good night's sleep can do!
Besides, I'm sure everyone has their bad days. Yesterday was definately mine].

So the source of my happiness is my volunteer work. I usually go after my 8 o'clock class in the morning..but I just couldn't get up @ 6:30 today. So I went directly from home to be there at 10am (I volunteer at a health care home). At this time I wait until the morning mass is over in the main lobby and then help the physiotherapist set up for some physio exercises that occur in a group setting. I must say there has been such a positive outcome of these group exercises! Elderly people come on wheel chairs, with their walkers, and even if they don't have any major physical problems (ofcourse to be involved in these exercises, a doctor's referal is needed). So the outcome has been very positive (since when we first started) of the amount of people that have begun to show up and the positive results that they are receiving (many people that have walkers have seen an improvement in weight bearing; their ability to stand up, and their muscles are getting stronger!)
As the physiotherapist was conducting the exercises (and of course I take mental notes..haha), I met a new member of the physio team. He's actually a recently graduated kinesiologist from York U. I was very excited to be working with him cuz I felt I could talk more easily with someone my own age. We assisted two patients (after the group exercises were over) who were more dependant on nursing care. It is just remarkable how much a persons life changes after a stroke or after a genetic illness. One of the patients, a brilliant man, one of Canada's greatest Doctor's.. he was close with Trudeau and John Paul II among the few known figures. Now, after stroke.. and bedridden, it is very difficult to communicate with him. Working with him, the positive feedback I received was from a firm grip of his hand- him not wanting to let go.
Many patients I meet are tough to understand when they are responsive because so often they mummble or rock, usually saying and communicating very little. Such was the case with a patient suffering from Huntington's Disease.

With one of the physio assistant's I have been assisting a patient with walking. The patient is very young..maybe 42.. who is in the late stages of Huntington's. Due to this, she is bedridden and because her muscles are constantly in motion, she has lost her sence of balance. When I first saw her I was shocked at how thin and how young she was. She is constantly burning calories because of the tremmbling and spasms she goes thorugh.

Earlier this year we began taking walks with her up and down the hallway; her small figure struggling with the steps she was taking. As we were walking, the phyio assistant would always talk to both me and her; about her illness, about her children. It is a very awkward situation to be in because it is difficult to interpret if the patient understands, if the patient minds.. or if she even wants to be walked with. The patient is a human being of course, but limited in her abilities to communicate. If she could talk what would she say? What would she want?
So today I told myself I wouldn't engage in a conversation that involved her illness, and her fragile state (it's kind of rude, don't u think? to be talking about someone when they're right there). Instead, I constantly focused on her steps, focused on her energy, and complemented her very often. Even the assistant noticed- we began telling the patient to straighten her back, straighten her legs, and appraised her when she did so. I honestly was so touched with how well she was doing. She was trying very hard, at her own slow tempo, to coordinate her steps and straighten her posture. We had to support her several times because she wobbled; but she was doing very well. In contrast, last week was the complete opposite. The patient could not walk straight, could not take her steps in sequence..right/left, right/left.. it was more right/right tummble/left. So you could imagine how happy it made me to see her doing so well. I told her we would be back again next week, at which she nodded her head!
After such success, I feel so rewarded! I think the whole physio team feels the progress everyone is making! I am so proud to be helping out in this way.

Take a step outside of yourself and realize the pain and problems other people are going though.
You'd be amazed at how health, which is usually ignored by us unless we are sick, is tremendously valued by these people.

Spreading the Love <3
Augie

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Life in a Plastic Bag

I carry him on my finger.

I slant and stretch out my boots-
yet I wear them everyday.

I pass by beauty, unmoved today.

Stoned, brain frozen, defeated.

[Interference] Please stop talking before I lose my sanity.

I feel the same things, see the same way...
like you.

Irrelevant though, a neutral reaction.

Take all these feelings and thoughts.. tie em up tight, put 'em in a plastic bag.. tie it to a brick and please let it sink in a body of water.

That's my life atm.

Looking for happier days.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Costume Day.. not for me :P


So first of all, Happy Halloween!

Second of all, booo my costume days are over.

I did attempt to make a costume earlier this month.. and it was going rather well except for a few exceptions..
1. my model form (that i was supposed to "sew" on) wasn't as easy to make as I thought
-the plan was to duct tape my body- done by the bf ofcourse ;)- and when it was removed, the tape would have le shape of my bod. It was going swell! except we ran out of duct tape when we got under le female chest area. lol. That, and when we took the tape off, my shorts ripped right down the mid arse! HA!

2. the fabric i wanted was soo expensive !

Oh yess, and 3. I had no sewing machine, all was to be done by hand.

Maybe this sounds like a bad idea now.. but trust me, at the time it sounded reasonable! I still intend to make myself a dress.. but I'll need a lot more time to do it! (**darn those youtube videos! they make it look soo easy!)

Aneways, so I wouldn't be me if I didn't have a Plan B. Thus, my choices of costume for Halloween 2008 are:

1. Wrap myself in a bed sheet in a toga-like manner and portray the roman/greek goddess I was originally supposed to be.

2. Wrap myself in toilet paper and go as a mummy LOL//

3. Make myself a "duct tape dress" and go as a... super hero.. very sexy truss me =).

If all else fails, have a good one!


Update! Update! (As of October 32cnd.. sigh its November already)...

So this being an excellent but very cheap Halloween 2008, I didn't follow any of my Plan B's.

I did however create smtn different... with some help... a few pins, a mask from Dollarama (haha), an orange pashmina.. and my "out of season" leopard print dress =)

It's soo good to re-use and recycle!.. heck I'll wear that thing again sometime! (i loved it)
P.S - next year is definately gunna be all out!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Feminist Ideals

He walks into the room, charm flying off his confident stance.
She doesn't look his way but it doesn't matter.
His presence throws her off, bugs her.

Maybe she just hates the male ego.

What is a smile but a friendly gesture?
What is a helping hand but an offer to make peace?
What is this entry but a few words...
to relieve this tension.

Feedback Inhibition

On the day of the first snowfall
it deemed upon her.

The flakes, not wholy solid, melted on her warm cheek.
She looked up at the sky
-the sun not visible, hidden by clouds of grey.

Has she forgotten? Has she sunk herself in 'this' life again?
It was only a season gone when she felt so free.
Now she is surrounded by books.
Knowledge thrown at her from all angles.

She lives at every instant to catch it all,
capture all the words and sentences thrown at her, full throttle.
The words not even her own..
killing her 'self' by depending on the sentences of other, experienced figures.

Isolates herself from the real world, she realizes.
Yet they keep throwing info, hitting her body with such force that she sinks in its capacity.

While she focuses on her individual needs, her own education, there are those that suffer, there are global issues that pass her by as irrelevant.

She knows she can do little without the education she is gaining now;
she can do little without the paperwork and title.

As that first flake to touch her skin transforms into a water droplet,
she too is transformed.
Rekindling her goals, she breakes away from the distractions, and makes her way.

She wants to be part of it all and not cut from it..
a recurring cycle like feedback inhibition.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

The Classics


During my spare time this week I've really gotten into watching some classic black and white (and not only) movies. I've never had the opportunity to watch these movies because 1. didn't have the "resources", 2. didn't have the need to do so, 3. i've been so focused on the future that I forgot about the past.

By resources, I mean an awesome website I discovered (well, my bf's fams discovered) that has every movie you can think of.. except HighSchool Musical3 (haha :P). Now the money which was put aside to purchase dvd's can be used to buy myself a berret (yes, a berret!). Hello awesome movie website! How much I love thee.

Number 3 is a tricky one to discuss. Yes, school has been on my mind a lot as of late which leads to my future. But another "future" factor, or "future" excuse- has been my focus on the new movies coming out soon. Ex. James Bond, Quantum of Solace Nov. 14- which looks sooo good! With all this limited excitement I forgot about those good ol' movies =(

Aneways, I just had had had to watch (in no particular order):

1. Casablanca (1942).. and I loved it! So smoky, smooth, and mysterious! About a love that is cursed by the war- and a husband that "comes back to life"- which ruins a new love that developed in his absence. A must see!

2. Sabrina (1955). Audrey Hepburn is adorable! I love her- such a collected, classy woman! the plot of the story is very good- also about love, or rather obsession.. and money! This movie ranks high in my fav romantic films (1. Notebook, 2. Pride and Prejudice, 3. Atonement**, 4. Sabrina)

**I just had to mention, Atonement, the movie is MUCH better than the book. I found the book a bit dull ( no offense to the author) lol- he didn't capture the 'love' as well as the movie did (one exception though is the author's description of the library love scene- THAT was very good-probably the best I've ever read).

3. The Birds (1960). Thriller, not really- Alfred Hitchock's Birds is a depiction of my life and your life, if 'the birds attacked. It's plot is slow and realistic- even scientifically reasonable lol. I liked it.

4. Jurassic Park (1995). Yes, for me this is a classic. I have not seen this movie up until now.. and WOW I am in love. Probably the best movie with precise (or rather correct) scientific explanations that are not thrown out of proportion. I would love to be that scientist working on that DNA sample! Aneways, the plot is exciting...

...unlike that of Jurassic Park III. I liked part III but to a certain extent. I thought Spielberg focused waayyy too much on the raptors being able to communicate- come on now, it was kinda cheesy the way the main character was trying to decipher what those dinosaurs were saying to eachother. I wonder if this is what his life's research led him to conclude: "lets just take the eggs" says Bob the Raptor, "no, lets eat the humans" says Steve the Raptor, "No, they look nice, I chewed on the other human- he didn't taste so good, I'm gunna take the eggs"... BAM! the raptors have feelings!- shit, is that a possible theme for Jurassic ParkIV? hope not.

5. Pretty Woman (199?3). A prostitute's dream come true! Damn that girl was lucky- she landed the Ace of Aces! shucks that Harrison Ford is a hunk! ..was a hunk, is a hunk.. was/is.. i dont know anymore (he looks ageless in Indiana Jones lol). I guess in a way they were both pretty women.. awwww *tear. True love.. but really? would you date a prostitute? This all seems kinda iffy. Aneways, thumbs up for the plot and idea-- which really shows us that anything is possible *insert Sarah Palin wink*.
6. Romeo + Juliet (1996). *Starts to drool*.. Leeooo DiCaprio. Enough said.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

A Canadian Political Regime!

What is going on?!
Conservatives, Liberals, NDP, Green?

A quick review (as of Oct. 14, 08):

- A slightly larger minority government run by Mr. Harper.
*insert applause* ..two weeks into his term.. *insert bored, monotone face : *

- Sorry, Dion or as I like to call toi Monsieur Piu Piu- maybe nexx time around (but there won't be a nexx time.. such false hope (muahaha)).

-And importantly, congrats to the Greens who are gaining favour and more recognition in this ginormous country that is greener than blue. Literally.

Your Love is King- Sade

One of my favourite easy listening, smooth jazz songs:



Your love is king,crown you in my heart.
Your love is king,never need to part.
Your kisses ring,round and round and round my head.
Touching the very part of me.
It's making my soul sing.
Tearing the very heart of me.
I'm crying out for more.

Your love is king,crown you in my heart.
Your love is king.
You're the ruler of my heart.
Your kisses ring,round and round and round my head.
Touching the very part of me.
It's making my soul sing.
I'm crying out for more.

Your love is king.I'm coming up, I'm coming.
You're making me dance, inside.

Your love is king.
This is no blind faith
This is no sad and sorry dream.
This is no blind faith
Your love...your love is real...
gotta crown me with your heart,never, never need to part,touch me.
Never letting go,never letting go,never going to give it up.
I'm coming,you're making me dance...

Monday, September 8, 2008

He's Back..

and everything is complete.

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love is wise.
Love is honest.

I don't understand how jealousy can take over a person so rapidly, and how one can jump to conclusions so quickly.
Jealousy is difficult to contain, sure, but the beauty and risk of love is trust.
I have the satisfaction in knowing that what he speaks is true.
I was proved wrong so many times when we were still building our relationship.
It is sweet to blush and be concerned about a beau's contacts but WOW not to the extent of controling and spying on one's every move. It is meaningless, pointless, and a waste of time. An emotion not worth this much of my writing and thought.
But something to note, and something that ticked me off today was this false accusation.

Love conquers jealousy.

-I have to let it be known; get over urself,

Love, Augie

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Don't.. Wake Me Up When September Ends

First Day of school was awesome today!
In truth I only had one class which was a great start for my final year at Rye. My prof is freakin amazing! (I wouldn't be surprised if Rye had the best profs in T.O!) She transfered over from York U (boo! lol) and she has a down to earth (gangstah) feel.
Of course being overtly confident this year.. I spoke up n shared my Aussie experience with the class..oohh I'm on fiiree! (for now.. I'll update my status in a month haha!)

On a serious note, I fixed up all the problems I had with the schedule and it looks like a busy but flexible semester. I have one full day off and another day which only consists of a one hour class. This year is going to be insane. With the temptation of sweet procrastination during those days..

(I can not give in! I will not give in!)

..what does one do to resist? Something better.. volunteer work =) I'm in talks with a volunteer coordinator at one of the hospitals in the area. Hopefully all works well and the shadowing experience as a physiotherapist will work out (for that is what interests me atm).

My thesis project is working out well as well.. Although I haven't entered the lab environment (YET), I have a couple of meetings with my prof this week and next. It is soo exciting! But I know I will be emotionally drained when I actually perform my act in the laboratory lol. Maximum emotional rollercoaster this semester.. BUT that will not affect netn' cuz I plan to dance/drink my sorrows away (not to the extreme..but you know, go out more often). I'm on the hunt for a bar with a dance floor. Something in the likes of Jacksons at George in Sydney. Honestly, those were good times and although I understand the school year has started...

I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE TO WORK, I WANT TO WORK TO LIVE!!!

Monday, August 25, 2008

With School Just Around the Corner..



Why can't it be like this anymore? ^^

Happy faces, one teacher, one classroom!

School is just around the corner and already I feel a bit of pressure. I've been caught with schedule errors, course errors.. grrr.. but better to fix all the problems early before it's too late!

This week is my prepare for school week. Ive been re-organizing my room- painting, cleaning, and adding new doodads. It doesn't feel like the summer holidays are over.. the weather is getting warmer with every passing day... and we start so early too! September 2..wtf :P

School, I love it and hate it.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

I See Him in the Night

I see him in the night.

In the dark blue sky,
lightly freckled with stars.

Stars.
They shine, illuminating the darkness.
Each one an opportunity within, to grasp.

For when I see him there, the light,
satisfaction fills me.
I know we have that thing in common.

I see him there
and my world is unshaken when he is gone.
I love him for that.

Realization that I am strong,
worry is small and limited.
Life goes on, revolves around my own- my Self.

I am independent.
I need no one but myself to succeed.

I need nothing but the stars to catch my gaze
and trap me in the remembrance of ourselves.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Used Books? Why Not?

One man's junk is another man's treasure.

I was walking through a nice High Park neighbourhood and what I noticed was the amount of used bookstores in the area. Some were more prestigious looking than others. The others were cleanly kept, down to earth-type shops. I made an effort to go into as many as I could to feed my interest and curiosity. Throughout my journey, a thing I noticed was the love of books the owners of the shops contained. This was evident by the amount of knowledge they had on every piece of writing. I went into one store and asked for a book on poetry. The man led me to the "poetry section", a rather small dark brown book shelf, and began talking about the most popular works, popular poets, and why he chose to sell some books over others. I left that shop with a type of awe.. these stores are definately not your Indigo or Chapter stores.. where the service is, meh, arranged by computer catologues. Here I was presented with many insights, person to person, of what I was interested in. Another bonus were the cheap prices! Bargain prices! and honestly the books were in tip top shape!

I'm on the verge of starting a trend: used books! cheap prices! bargain-a-paloozeeee!



Friday, August 15, 2008

The Higher Your Pumps, The Better Your.. Sex?

At last a positive light for the pump!

Sexy shoes= sexy legs! Who would have guessed :P

However there is more behind a good pair of shoes than their obvious gift of sex appeal to even the shortest, stoutiest legs :)

It has recently been proven by an Italian urologist that the higher the heel you wear the greater exercise you give your floor pelvic muscles! ..which only leads to one thing.. a boost to the sex life! (better strength n ability to contract).

The study which included 66 women also provided information that placing the foot at a 15 degree angle (a two inch heel) does not alter the posture of a woman. A woman wearing flats also showed less electrical activity in the pelvic muscles.

-BBC

Jane Does Not Fail to Amuse!


"The more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love"- Marianne Dashwood.

I am on the verge of finishing yet another Jane Austin classic, "Sense and Sensibility", and as the title of this post suggests- it is quite entertaining!
*Small Spoiler:
After the death of their father and the loss of their estate (to their estranged brother), Mrs. Dashwood with her two daughters Marianne and Elinor accept an offer to leave the city and reside in a country cottage. Upon their arrival they are drawn to many social events by their close friends who constantly keep them entertained. Marianne, the younger and more spirited sister, falls head over heels with John Whiloughby, a young man who saved her from a (somewhat) damgerous fall. Their friendship and affection towards eachother grows. Everything is flowing perfectly (the dude even shows Marianne his estate, where "they will live when they get married"). In short, they are seriously in love. But this being a romantic, heart quenching novel, things can not stay this perfect! The young man suddenly claims he has to leave town and leaves the girl in a heartless manner. It was suspected that his mother opposed the connection ($$) and sent him to town as quick as possible. At the same time of this occurrence, the older sister, Elinor, left the city with regret for she left behind her beau, Edward Ferrars. However, with the constant social gatherings and introductions to new men, she quickly loses affection for him. The novel continues with a plot not suspected by the reader. Both sisters are deceived by their men. The story contains twists and turns, mistakes, false accusations, and assumptions based on rumours which are spread by inacurate sources. The whole story is a fun and romantic mess! It follows the emotions of the characters, those that are commonly experienced in a relationship.
I highly recommend this novel- a read that will take you back to the civility of the ladies and gentlemen of the 18th century.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Beautiful Sydney

Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi! Oi! Oi!

I am back from Australia!

I had the time of my life in the Southern Hemisphere!
I envy all the Aussie's.. their country is beautiful =)
I'll gladly jump at any opportunity to go back!

**Best chillin spot in Sydney= Jackson's on George! (bar/club/lounge) We were there every night.. it was freakin sicckk. I wish we had a spot like that in T.O.. or maybe we do but I haven't found it yet lol.

Here is a short plick of the cruise I went on in Sydney.


Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Arrived

Arrived in Australia.
The flight to vancouver was nice- slept a lil bit.
Then flew to Sydney from Vancouver via Boeing 777 (15 hours- slept 4).
Awesome plane> we each had our own tv's for ourselves.
Flight to Melbourne from Sydney took 1.45 hours.
Love the Australian accent!
Met some nice people!

I am staying with 5 other girls (all whom I like very much)
with an Australian family (we all had dinner, we each have separate beds and rooms- the couple have 6 kids [all except the youngest moved out.. so they have rooms to spare:)]
Tomoro we tour Melbourne!
It is a very new, modern (and still under construction) city.
To describe Melbourne- think of dt Toronto architecture, European- style streets (the lights and left side driving), and Florida (the houses are majorily bungallows with red 'tin' roofs.. and palm trees! beautiful)
Weather= 7C, partly cloudy.
It's 8:38pm July 8, Toronto it's 6:38 am. 14 hours ahead is Aussie.
Sunrise= 7:30, sunset=6pm.. Winter.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

AUSTRALIA

Goodbye !!<3

I'm leaving to Aussie 2moro. I come back on the 27th of July!

Keep smiling,
AD

The Letter

Sent the last letter today
watched as it rolled away.

Put it in the box at the ROSS post,
sealed it tightly; wrote the most.

Mailman came, made a joke,
tall, black man; a lively bloke.

Walked out the store and out the door,
the letter on his buggy, I'll see it no more.

My heart quenched, ached, wanted to grab it away.
My love will get it a different day.

The last letter before I leave,
and the last one he will receive.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Close to Freedom

I was walking down a busy street and although I felt like dancing, I didn't.
That limit is still there, holding me back, the idea of being 'normal'.

I conquered singing on the street (with my ipod on)..
and I don't mean singing with your best friend walking next to you.
I mean, singing alone to the words of the song in you ears.
A rush of excitement, a rush of fear, a rush of "what will other ppl think, looking at me"..
It's so difficult to sing alone, to dance alone, but why?
A 'high' building from nothing. The 'nothing' being a simple hummm.

I was so close to doing it.. skipping to that beat.
But I couldn't. Not yet.
That day will come soon, when I'm ready.
I'm so close and I don't care. I don't want to care what anyone says or thinks.
Just be. Just me.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

My New Addiction: House Musik

Have a listen :)
House isn't everybody's cup of tea...
the introductions are rather long- but every song has its own groove and melody- it's own identity!
These songs absolutely JAM my days! - they get me pumped for my Aussie trip :D

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The songs I chose:
1. Ian Oliver feat. Shantel- Bucovina (a jazzy, elegant, 'almost-latino' feel; apparently Bukovina is a valley in the Carpathian mountains)

2. Ida Engberg- Disco Volante (a beat with a sharp- almost 'Haydn-like' feel with the string crescendo's and sharp pizzicato's)

3. Dirty South- Let it go (funky beat with acoustic guitar- love the anthem "no matter what they say- let it goooo (8)!!)

4. Kurd Maverick- Let's Work ('African- like' beat, my interpretation: robotic work day; repetitive actions)

5. Africanism f. Yves Larock- Zookey (tropical groove- relaxing yet empowering!)
2.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Celebrate Canada!

By clicking on the title of this post ^^^,
you can listen to Estelle's "American Boy re-make"> aka Canadian Version "Canadian Boy"- by Mad Dog and Suzie McNeal.

Here are the lyrics:

"Just a number one Canadian sound
me and Suzie about to get down
just listen what we say, say
we in a place where they all say eh?

But they give me a dime,
it's what the horseshoe pay all the time.
Tell the life guard we need more seats
we gotta do better than Wasaga Beach.

Take me on the street car, I'd like to go some day,
take me to Toronto on the Don Valley,
I really want to come fishing with you.
You'll be my Canadian Boy.

He said hey hoser its really really nice to meet you,
I just met this radio DJ who's just my type.
I like the way he's speakin,
but Billie she is freakin.
Don't like his hockey jersey
but I like what's underneath it.

And no I ain't been on the VIA,
I heard that B.C always rains,
and NorthYork's heart awaits.
First lets see Newfoundland,
I'll show you to my bedroom.
I'm liking this Canadian Boy, Canadian Boy.

Take me on the subway, I'd like to go someday.
Take me to Markham on the Don Valley.
I really want to come skating with you.
You'll be my Canadian Boy, Canadian Boy.

Who killin' them in the T.O?
Everybody gunna say you, yo!
Reluctantly cuz most of this town totally fucks with me
Suzie once said to me this town town
aint so green its brown ground
aint nothing new now now now- no no
He crazy, I know what you're thinking
Billy, I know what you drinking
Mad flinga, Phone Ringa
Holla at the next chick soon as you're blinkin'... "

LOL! LOVE IT!

from: MIX 99.9
http://www.999mixfm.com/media/738408/Canadian+Boy

Happy 141st Birthday Canada!

Happy Canada Day!!

The weather today is B-E-A-UUU-tiful! Plenty of sunshine and warmth.
Perfect for that Birthday BBQ us Canadians looovveee to make lol.
My whole street literally smells of bbq chicken and steak <3>
Can't wait for the fireworks tonight.. its gunna be a great party!



To add to this excitement I'm gunna post a 'thought' - it's actually a story about my previous experience at World Youth Day 2002. I'm going to Australia (in a couple of days) to experience this youth fest again.. it truly is amazing (I'm not very in touch with the religious aspect of it.. however, the people I'm going with are awesome- and I couldn't possibly miss out on the opportunity I've been given!).

The Flag

Follow the white and red.
You see it,
then you don't.
It disappears in a swarm of people.
Excitement builds in you,
as you go on a hunt
to meet the person
wrapped in its colours.

The flag.

All your focus is directed on finding this person-
wanting to reach out and relate to him.

Song and laughter rises around you.

[Side tracked]

Someone grabs your hand, twirls you around- you begin to dance..
to a crowd of people humming and singing a common song.
Everyone in their own language.. same rhythm, same melody, same meaning.

"FFFoottooo", someone yells out loud, in a foreign accent.
Pictures taken, souvenires shared,
Everyone rushes in with their flags to fit into the frame.

[Back to the Hunt]

Heads are all you see
as you peep toe to see
the distance between you and the flag.

A rush forms.
Your don't see it anymore.

Lost him.

AH! look there!

You switch course,
change direction-he's there!
Fellow Canadian, eh?

Amongst all the people,
all the flags of the world, I singled you out!
My brother, my companion, we found eachother.

Toronto Tour

So my frnd and I pretended to be tourists for the Day. We visited some gorgeous sites of T.O.. On Yonge Street (which happens to be the longest street in the world) the Gay Parade was celebrated by hundreds of people. We walked by in complete shock.. so many colours, thongs, masks.. :) It's definately something to experience. As we walked toward the lake, we passed Dundas Square.. and something else caught our attention. The Euro Finals were just starting on a huge screen that was set up especially for the occassion :) It's pretty crazy here when there's such an occassion. What I love most are the many cultural flags hung by fans on their cars. While driving anywhere during the Euro.. or any soccer tournament.. the streets turn *poof* colourful. People honk, cheer, and I absolutely love that feeling! lol.

















The following clip is of the Espagna goal, and game end.
I was rooting for Espagna throughout the game.. :) Don't ask why haha.







My Day- Another Saturday

I've been pretty busy lately with work and all. But I have kept up with my random scribbles (manually- on paper haha). Here's a short insight to my day on Saturday.. written short and sweet (at least I hope lol)

It rained again today.
The clouds darkened the city.
Light switch: off.

Made my way to work,
fighting the tears of nature as I walked.
Stood at the bus stop.
Witnessed a car accident.
Angry drivers, getting wet as they bitched at eachother.

Met an older gentleman at work.
Random Convo.
Was with the Air Force.
Been up to Polar Bear's Path several times in the 70's-80's.
Flat land, strong winds, and incredibly peaceful he said.
Awesome. What a coincidence...

Small World.

Sun brightened the city in the afternoon.
It's so humid now.
Summer. Finally.
Went on an errand for my boss, funny man.
Took the long way through the park, smelled the fresh breeze.
After the rain,
a sweet sensation;
trees lightly misting you from the raindrops still parched on their leaves.

Tommorow-
new day. A lot awaits.
A City tour with my bff, + Euro 2008 Finals.
WOoOhHoO!

Friday, June 27, 2008

The Prison

"the sea is a prison for the waves,
the beach a prison for the sea,
the fig tree a prison for the birds,
the four quarters are a prison for the day,
the day is a prison for the night,
the sky for the wind, the face for the eyes,
the stomach for hunger,the mind for the thoughts,
the mountain fo the earth,
the picture for the eye,
the soft scent for the nostrils,
the hair for the adorning flower,
every word a prison for the tongue,
your encircling arms are a prison for me:

oh do not open your arms and drive this bird away,
do not let the wings be cut off by the wind
that swallows the waves of the sea,
do not let the skull be split by lightning and thunder,
do not let the bird wander outside the nest of your mind
like and orphan, oh hold him fast,
do not relax your entwining fingers,
hold him, hold him... "

Ayyapa Paniker (B.1930)
Translated from Malayalam

I am- A Philosophy for Existence

What am I
but a name on a paper.
A word
who's meaning is meaningless
to you, to my 'self'.

My autonomy- much contradicted by
indisposable rights.

I am born alone-
for my 'self' to lead life.
To discover earth's beauty
by blind ambission :
not dictated by principles,
not dictated to resemble the average being,
not shared by should's and could's.

I am.
Simple but sumptuous.
I am the common thought,
yet different view.
Deligate of the living,
the growing earth,
nature's repetition and commodity.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

He Wrote!

Sweet! He wrote to me again!
Oh, how he knows when to make the perfect entrance into my life.
He saves me from my sorrows and worries!
I've been pretty spoiled this week, I think.
First he called on Sunday, and now I received from him a letter.
It's difficult to keep in touch through the distance.. but these little simple things rekindle my love for him.
I'm so happy- what piano exam? what bitchy music teacher?- I'm trapped in my bubble again!
I have to write, have to express my happiness!

Only 89 days till he returns, he says.
He quotes "Into the Wild" about his experience up north:
"I wished to acquire the simplicity, native feelings, and virtues of savage life; to divest myself of the factitious habits, prejudices, and imperfections of civilization".

Couldn't agree more!

The Troubled Pianist

[Enough.
She's sick of this.
Constant movement, constant stress, constant disaproval.
Fuck. She's been working her ass of ever since she was young.
Tears form in her eyes as she writes this-
She swallows the gulp in her throat-
battles them from running down her face.
There she is, one might think as they watch her, happy, at peace with herself.
How wrong they are.

Why must she torture something she first wanted to pick up as a hobby.
It's not a hobby anymore. It's not love.
She hates this shit now- pressured to do it- to finish it.
All the dictated pieces- played as the composer intended- strictly formulated by the notes written on the paper.
Just once she'd like to lose herself in one of her pieces- but she has no time.
No time to explore the beauty of this instrument she was once attracted to.

To calm her emotions, she thinks of him.
He'd want her to finish- get it over with- put her mind at ease.
But he's not here.
She feels as if she started a circle- caught him in the same trance.
The same work ethic she now despises.
He thinks he enjoys it (in all honesty, she hopes he does).
She blames herself.
Is it worth it- will it be worth it at the end?
No one knows.

Let him make the choices for himself, she can only but encourage him.
Hope he won't lose himself, his 'self', his autonomy, and personality.

A man once said his longest successful relationship has been with his work.
Is it possible to feel love to the physical, cold, and materialistic as pects of life, rather than reflect it towards another individual?

She misses her connection with him.
They're drowning themselves in work.
Communists.

She waits for an end. Imagines and end.]

The 35 Express

"This is an express vehicle"
Express to where?
Does it fly over traffic,
speed past the 50km/h speed limit?
Do cars bow down before it and make way for it to go through?

It must be expressing its wheels to the road,
making sure they caress every rock on the pavement.
It must be gliding slowly,
ensuring everyone outside of it takes pleasure in its view.

Hail the Express Jane Bus!
A contradiction to its name!
lol.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I Say a Little Prayer for You

The moment I wake up.. before I put on my makeup.. (8)
lol! Def. the best part of the movie! :P



My Best Friends Wedding. I was just surfing the web when I stummbled upon this clip. This movie made me cry lol .. I think I was captured by Julia's performance- truly believed I was in her position (Hated Cameron haha). Honestly, what would you do if you discovered you love your best friend only to find out he's getting married? *ouch.

Monday, June 23, 2008

A Taste of Atonement

I'm on the hunt for a good book to read. I enjoy novels that capture a piece of history, teach me something about the world, however have in them a sufficient amount of romance =)

Lately I've been feeling encaptured by an optimistic aura, a feeling that love can outcompete all difficulties and problems. I feel like nothing can ground me- I don't want to be grounded- not yet. Reality chases all around- I have exams to finish- work to attend- I don't feel like surrendering my inner self to it. Let life chase me for a change!

Here's an excerpt from Atonement, which has grown popular over the past year. This is one of my fav. parts of the novel- where the two childhood friends discover their love for eachother. Throughout the novel, their love is tested, it grows- outlasts the difficulties of the second world war. Powerful!

[ He could only repeat to himself, this time in a whisper.
"I'm sorry.."
She was moving further away, toward the corner, into deeper shadow. Even though he thought she was recoiling from him, he took another couple of steps in her direction.
"It was a stupid thing. You were never meant to read it. No one was".
Still she shrank away. One elbow was resting on the shelves, and she seemed to slide along them, as though about to disappear between the books. It was only then that it occurred to him that she might not be shrinking from him, but drawing him with her deeper into the gloom. So he walked toward her slowly as she slipped back, until she was inthe corner where she stopped and watched him approach. He too stopped less than four feet away. He was close enough now, and there was just enough light, to see she was tearful and trying to speak. For the moment it was not possible and she shook her head to indicate that he should wait. She brought herself under controld and said, "It's been there for weeks..." Her throat constricted and she had to pause. Instantly, he had an idea what she meant, but he pushed it away. She drew a deep breath, then continued more reflectively, "Perhaps it's months. I don't know. But today... all day it's been strange. Everything has looked different- too sharp, too real. Even my own hands looked different. At other times I seem to be watching events as if they happened long ago. And all day I've been furious with you- and with myself. I thought I'd be perfectly happy never seeing you again. I thought you'd go off to medical school and I'd be happy. I was so angry with you."
She gave a tense little laugh.
Until now, her gaze had been lowered. When she spoke again she looked at him. He saw only the glimmer of her eyes.
"You knew before me. Something has happened, hasn't it? And you knew before me. It's like being close up to something so large you don't see it. Even now, I'm not sure I can. But I know it's there".
She looked down and waited.
"You do know what I'm talking about. Tell me you do". She was afraid that there was nothing shared at all, that all her assumptions were wrong and that with her words she had isolated herself further, and he would think she was a fool.
He moved nearer. "I do. I know it exactly. But why are you crying? Is there something else?"
Why was she crying? How could she begin to tell him when so much emotion, so many emotions, simply engulfed her? They stared at eachother in confusion, unable to speak, sensing that something delicately established might slip from them. That they were old friends who had shared a childhood was now a barrier- they were embarassed before their former selves. For the moment there seemed no way out with words.
He put his hands on her shoulders, and her bare skin was cool to the touch...]

(.. and then enclosed in the following three pages of the book is the best intimate scene I've ever read! worth the read!- I won't spoil it :P)

Atonement- Ian McEwan

Softly Spoken

She laughs thinking about it now.
You are such a foolish girl in love.
Something so simple - yet it stopped all the motion around her.
Stopped the earth from its orbit- rejecting to follow the sun.
He got her.
He made her feel the warmest emotions physically possible.
Feel as if everybody she met outside her bubble was honest and compassionate.
A feeling that included extending her love and trust to even the most darkest individuals. Believing in the possibility of brightening their lives.
With this feeling anything is possible- the stars far out of reach are possible to hold, the depths of the ocean possible to swim under, and the sun with all its intensity possible to look at.
Anything can come into focus with reality and run parallel to its limits.
A 'hello' on the end of the phone was all it took for the colours of the room to jump off the wall.
She felt her heart ready to leap out of her body. Ready to beat a rhythm of its own, set to the pace of his voice.
Even now as she rekindles every word spoken- she feels nervous, shy, excited- a stir of emotion.
Excitement - a spontaneous reaction she cherishes so much for its honesty.
All necessary for she hasn't heard his voice in a long time.
Shy- for she confessed to him her happiness, her joy.
Nervous- a worrisome feeling. His expression in speech hollow, tired, and limited by the constraints of time.
Nonetheless, three simple words still stand strong, still hold them together regardless of the distance that keeps them apart.
She knows she gives this too much thought-
but why hide these emotions, so bright?
Why be ignorant to this feeling, the best in the world?
The beauty of these expressions are difficult to hold within oneself, so as she writes all these words, in her heart they are softly spoken.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Goodbye Bullshit- The Purpose of the Bubble

Why Associate yourself
with people that bring you down?
People that close your heart onto the world?
They don't care for your success or happiness.
They enwrap themselves in you failure,
keep you tied to a single spot
while time chaces
all around you.
Move Forward.
Don't let their grief
for their own success hold you down.
Don't close yourself to those who are good-
on account of another's bad will.
Why associate with those that don't give two shits about you?
Why should you care about them?
It's pointless to occupy your mind with meaningless thoughts.
Does that satisfy your hunger for happiness?
Form a bubble.
Within it, focus your energy on goals for yourself.
Direct good will at those who are true and keep them inside with you.
Distinguish
between reality and bullshit.
Seperate the heart beat and thought.
I assure you the beat is alive.
Outside of the dome
are those that feed themselves with bull shit.
Keep a careless attitude toward them.
Bullshit, yum!
They don't affect you- they keep your heart cold.
Keep the beat silent and direct it.
Why let these
'beings'
occupy your time?
Occupy your chance for happiness.
They think they can step on you, block you from your will.
Bullshit; unanswered.
*
Get out there.
Jump in with two feet.
Enjoy.
*