HELLO WORLD!!!

It's been a while since I've written on this site.
I come to this place to find peace and reflection. It allows me to vent all my emotions and frustrations.

It's been pretty busy on my end of the screen and the words 'no pain no gain' are a constant ringing bell in my mind. Today, I am running away from my thesis duties and other responsibilities.. but only for a week. I'll be back at the end of April from my vacation in Varadero, Cuba.

OH HAPPY DAY!

When do you truly know?

You never truly know something until you've experienced it; you never truly feel the depth of an emotion unless it has affected you directly. You can imagine and you can try to understand what it is like but that doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter because it won't come close to that raw feeling, that real experience, that shock and that anxiety of having to wait for time to heal the pain and bring things back to the way they were before.

Every so often I discover a truth, something that I know and have read about but never stopped to look at in perspective. I try to imagine such circumstances. I try to picture my life, as comfortable as it is now, come to a halt because of some occurrence that is larger than I am. Something governed by a greater power, whether it be a natural disaster or a political regime such as communism, fascism. Toronto had a small glimpse of chaos this summer during the G20 protests but that was like a small rain storm compared to frevelent storms occurring in different parts of the world on a daily basis. How ignorant are we to these things? How ignorant are we to the past, our personal histories and the lives of our ancestors who "fought for our freedom". We here that so often.. freedom. But is it?

Stories of my great grandparents re-surface here and then but it is my curious nature to dig deeper and find the truth. The textbooks don't always reflect the stories of all the people.. and our grandfolks are the ones with the real encounters. So history.. it is not just a boring subject. It is a reflection of who we are.. and only when it directly affects or defines us is when we start to appreciate its worth.

I guess my main point in terms of history is that although we can't live our lives rethinking or living by the past, we can not ignore it nor forget about it completely either.

My Gold Star for Life

"You're a hard worker, you have an undying optimisim, you bleed confidence and refinement, and you make those around you happier, you deserve the shiny gold star for life!"

-Thank you, you made my day!

I'm so much more than a bytch in a box

patiently reaching
patiently working
patiently waiting

to reach and show my full potential

The Haunted Tale of the Runnymede Theatre

Historic Chapters at Runnymede Theatre in Toronto

The Runnymede Theatre, located at Bloor and Runnymede was built in 1927 as a vaudeville theatre (vaudeville- theatrical genre: musicians, actors, circus acts, live animals, freak shows, magicians). It was the first of its kind in Toronto. The theatre seated 1400 guests and was ment to give the audience an exotic experience. The ceiling was painted blue with overhanging white clouds, airplanes, and stars. The walls were lined with murals giving the effect of sitting in a courtyard. It was during this time, the theatre's 'hey- day', that tragedy hit. It is rumoured that a young girl was intentially murdered on the stage of the theatre. The cause of death was a sandbag that was dropped from the ceiling of the stage causing her instant death. It is also rumoured that her body was kept in the basement a little after the tragedy occurred. None of this has been proven to be true. There are no records indicating the death of anybody at the theatre. However, there have been sightings and there have been sounds of a little girl around the stage and basement of the building. Most of these unexplainable things occur during the night and early morning hours. I just looked up on the net of "stories" from previous workers who have worked at the location before it was a Chapters, when it was a Famous Players theatre.

One of the famous player ppl claims to have felt movement, felt a change in temperature in the basement. however I'm more familiar with the Chapters storied. One of the workers claims to have been pushed when stackin books on the shelves. A manager claims he heard a little girl crying from the corner of the stage and to have seen a fague figure stretching out its arms in the distance while he was working in the basement. Customers claim they have seen books falling off the book shelves (but to their benefit, helping them find the books they couldn't on their own).

My encounter was today. I never worked around the stage before so I never understood what the big fuss was about. The whole store is so pleasant and it is so warm and inviting. But when you're on that stage alone, the whole store is facing and watching you. The stage is cold, very long and very poorly lit. Occassionally the lights flicker. When I was shelving the books on the stage (I was there half of my shift, from 5am to 7:30am), a coworker decided to come visit me. We were in mid conversation when we heard a high pitched female laugh. It wasn't a giggle. It was a "ha-ha" and it seemed like it was very close to us. We stopped talking and she asked me if I heard it.. to which I answered yes. We were the only ones in the stage/fiction area. After analyzing the other sounds of coworkers who were scattered around the store, we couldn't find anything that matched what we heard. The other sounds had echos, were mummbles. What we heard did not. We dismissed the idea of a ghost because we came to the conclusion that our manager has the same laugh and she must have been laughing loudly. After that it was difficult to work on that stage. the ceiling is so high and I just imagined where the sandbags must have been lol. You also can't help feeling that someone is looking through the gaps between the bookshelves opposite of you. Very. Eeery.

Aneways, after the shift ended I asked the cashiers where the manager was because I had to pick up my shift. They said she wasn't in today...

Autumn Glory

The pavement flashing in fall colour; all the leaves under my feet.
How suddenly the dark grey turned into hues of gold, yellow, and orange.
My eyes trying to outline every leaf on the golden blanket I walked on.
Never before was I awake to encapture this sight, autumn in its full glory.
As of today I decided this is my favourite season of the year.. lest it stay this warm and its colour never fade!

Convocation 2009

This is a Video of the Fall 2009 Convocation =)

My convocation was held on Thursday October 22 at 9:30 am.

I very much liked being amidst my fellow peers and graduates! The ceremony itself was amusing and had a very family-like atmosphere, which I felt very comfortable in.

The faculty speaker was introduced by one of our professors as a person with "little experience, little fame, but with great advice".. and the best advice she gave us all was "Marry Rich!".. lol! At this we all got a good crack =)

Aneways, the Bachelor of Science in Biology diplomas are awarded at the time "1:17" into the video. I am the second one going up.. ahaha.. I laugh at myself watching this =P

http://www.ryecast.ryerson.ca/dmpstreams/convocationfall2009/index.asp

My dad started the whole "name- yelling" thing at the ceremony lol.. oh man! I was laughing on stage when I heard my name.

Mr. G. Raymond Chang and I

Congrats to all!!!!!!!!!!!

There are times when there is a friend in need..
a time when a friend needs an attentive listener and a helping hand.

I don't want to give up and I don't want to neglect you..
but sometimes what truly breaks my heart is knowing that you are suffering while I am occupied with my everyday rituals with very limited time to be there for you.

I hate that and I am sorry.

Ugh

I need some better recording devices... =(

I've been meaning to put up my videos on piano lol.
But I've failed technologically. * I'm Sad

Ghost Rider (under construction)

I look at my hands.

Fingerless leather gloves, a delicate gold ring on my ring finger, nails painted cherry red.

These are the things I see and the only things I see directly infront of me that are directing where I am and where I am about to go. I focus on how ghetto my hands look. "You're such a bad ass", I say to myself amused. But I suppose this is the feeling I've been longing for, to run that very thin line of being controlled and being completely out of control.

My fingers, holding tightly to the black leather of the steering wheel, define a simple truth that highlights the intensity of the moment. This touch connects us, man and machine, and controls our co-dependence. I press my forehead against the wheel and listen to the gentle vibration of the car. I feel the turns of your engine. You feel the heavy pulsing of my heart.

My attention briefly switches to the road. The fog makes me uncertain of how much of it I really see. Of course it would have helped having the headlights on but that's something I would have done yesterday. Not tonight. Tonight, is my escape. An escape from a ritual which is my perfectly planned life.

So I wait.
In this darkness I forget what it is I am looking for. I forget from whom I am running or is it whom I am chasing? I wait for that single undefinable moment that releases my anguish and separates my thoughts from my mind.

A car speeds by.

I feel a spark inside of me.
(A spark? How slow motion that sounds!)
In a split second, NO! in a split quarter of a second there is lightning inside of me. A feeling so fast that it fails to be classified as anything humanly possible. No thinking, for thinking takes too long. No analyzing, for there isn't time to relinquish a single thought. Only acting and releasing that passive agressive.

The decision now belongs to my right foot, how hard it presses down and for how long.
I slam the acceleration and curve out of the sleeve where I was parked, lights turned off.

Sixty, seventy.. eighty kilometres an hour.

I swurve past a truck full of cattle (Mooo! lol).
"This one is impeccably fast", I think to myself. I chase the red car as if I were chasing my destiny, in full view but far from reach. He must be aware of my intensions by now. Why else would he still be accelerating, tempting me? Or maybe he doesn't see me at all and he's running from his own ghosts.

A red light coming up. Perfect. By now I am on his tale. I decide to stop to the left of him. A rusty little car he has. It had some work done though. Souped up with a spoiler, a lowered frame... neon lights? Were those necessary?

"Hey Ghost Rider!", I hear through my window. Ghost rider? "Nice", I say to myself. How appropriately cheesy that sounds. I let down my guard and slide my window open. "Nice car you got there", he says. "Can't say the same about you", I muffle under my breath. I proceed to smile at him and reply, "I like yours too, vintage?". He laughs, "Not as good as yours but it does wonders! Just wait and see", he turns his lights off and throws in a VROOM.

I roll my eyes. Unless he has some nitrous oxide under that hood, he doesn't stand a chance. I accept the challenge, and VROOM back.

Green light.
In an instant my heart feels weightless. I lose the red car instantly. But really, what do I care where he is. I am weightless and I am finally free.

Finally a Reed Diffuser!

I am obsessed with Winners and Kitchen Stuff Plus nowadays lol.

I bought meself some orange EMU boots on sale for 50$ last week.. and this week I added another jacket to my jacket collection =D

I got a hold of this beige, almost Burberry, trench coat that falls slightly above the knees. Sooo in love with it right now!

And at Kitchen Stuff Plus.. I finally got a reed diffuser! I always wanted one of those =) and now finally my quest is complete. I chose a smell that reminds me of my bf.. "fresh linen" lol! So now I can have a similar scent to him in my room.. how weird does that make me? lol w/e tho, it makes me happy =)

Convocation

Got two ticks in the mail today =)

Oh Happy Day! Convocation is near... October 22 =)
Its odd that the 22cnd of October is a Thursday hmm... Sorry Boo u're not invited lol ..cuz u can't make it anyway =(

*Sigh.. Update: Graduation= not so happy day! .. yes it should be this huge celebratory achievement but some ppl from the fams can't make it.. and I might have to work that day too. Bleh, looks like another graduation missed! Won't be the first time.. but it won't be a big deal either.

Wake Me Up when September Ends

So the school year has begun.. woohoo or booho for some!

I'm just chillen, finally able to get some real rest and enjoy my extended vacation.
Extended because I'm only goin back to school in January.
So till then, I have some things I need to focus on.

I love change. I love getting on board and opting for new things.
But no matter how spontaneous this sounds, or how spontaneous I make it sound, I carefully plan everything. I do get excited easily and I do cary things over the top sometimes =) Life is short, I'm glad of every free moment I gain.

I have planned to pick up my french, earn extra points in piano (by continuing it a little longer), and expand my guitar knowledge.. this includes building my musical creativity a little more.

Some time to pick up my hobbies and interests.. to truly express.

Zexy time galore!

Augie

How to write Essays..

1. Get organized
--> put a piece of paper and a pen on your desk beside your lap top

2. Open your books
--> it looks pretty this way

3. Turn on the lap top
--> the light gives you energy

4. WAIT
--> wait around and browse the web until inspiration hits you

It took me one season of Mad Men, and the movies The Ugly Truth and Orphan, to write this essay. I shouldn't mention all these random blog posts and Twitter msgs lol.

BUT I am finally done! yay me :)

Thnx Weather Man!

I feel u heard my plea.. plz keep the sun rays coming..

I'm ignorning your latest prediciton in hopes it will NOT rain over the weekend and the following week!

I think you might've misread your script on tv :)

Besides, you're usually wrong half the time you stare at that big map of fortune!

I am the Hammer!

..not the nail!

So my mother left for a vaycay to Poland for about a month.. meaning I have to cook/clean and actually run the house while she is gone.
Now I know why she so eagerly left her comfortable home ... all the ppl in this house r difficult! Well, at least 1/3 are normal.. ME =) haha. I joke.
So my chores so far have been to prepare meals for myself (at this I laugh cuz I eat so irregularly) and dinner for my dad (which I don't mind doing).. oh and walking the dog full-time. Also, I am responsible for all the groceries and laundry (gasp!). I think I'm gunna call my bf for the laundry bit lol.. and then maybe I'll grocery shop online.. LOL jks. I like grocery shopping =) makes me feel all mature n in control haha.. Especially going to Costco!! the shopping is so pleasurable there b/c of all the free food samples ;) oh, and everything there is bigger and cheaper =) SCORE! I love good deals ;)
Don't I sound like I have a pretty good handle on things?
HA! it's only been two days! Twenty more days to go!
My dad n I get along sooo welllll tho. I usually wake up early, walk the dog, n go to work. He gets up later.. feeds the dog. Then I come home, I cook something, walk/feed the dog again and go out. He comes home eats.. tells me to walk the dog again. Then we either ..A) go somewhere, like Home Depot (cuz we both obsess over that store and have several house-projects in mind), or B) watch movies that we've seen billions of times (like Casino Royal, 88 Minutes, Valkyrie) until midnight (and until we memorized every line in the movie).. and that concludes the day. lol.

I am also dying to share all the neat things I bought.. mostly hair masks/brushes/protein mists lol.. but I also bought these Chanel runners.. and a small Coach wristlet!! (faux, of course) =P maybe I'll mention that in a later post!

Anewho cheers!.. to warmer and sunnier days!

...

I'm an aunt for the second time this year =)
Congratulations to my cousin Marcin who has been blessed with Orys in February.
A second congratulations to my cousin Roma who gave birth to Weronika last week!

My cousins.. in total I have only 3.. are like my siblings! Being the baby of the family, I look up to them in every way! Congrats again.. love u all!

P90X

So for 7 days now my boyfriend and I have successfully kept up with the killer workout, P90X.

It's a super intensive workout that you do 1 hour daily for 90 days. The theory behind P90X is "muscle confusion". In total there are three phases, each lasting one week. In between phases there is a recovery week (in which the exercises are less stressful and less demanding). The three phases consist of different workouts that target different parts of your body..and ultimately confuse your muscles, allowing for faster results.

After a successful week of the program I must say that I enjoy it.. and although one hour a day does seem much, the videos are not boring and quite motivating. This doesn't mean that the first week is easy. In fact, by day 3 I wanted to quit or skip a day because I was soooo soar from the pushups/pullups/weights/jumping. But I quickly learned that the only way to rid yourself of the soarness is to continue with the exercises.

Day 1: Chest & Back, Ab Ripper X (too many pushups and pullup variations)
Day 2: Plyometrics (a lot of jumping and calorie burning- this is a tough one)
Day 3: Shoulders & Arms (weights, weights, weights)
Day 4: Yoga X (tests your flexibility..it's advanced and intense.. stupid downward dog)
Day 5: Legs & Back, Ab Ripper X (easy workout..I didn;t like it too much.. love the ab ripper x tho.. getting wuite good at it!)
Day 6: Kenpo X
Day 7: Rest or X Stretch

All you need to get started is a yoga mat, a couple of weights (5lbs..or w/e is comfortable for u), and a resistance band (if you don't have a pullup bar).

My favourite workout is Kenpo X.. it's a mix of 'tae kwan do' and karate.. they go pretty fast pace so it was hard to follow all their punches and kicks at first lol.. I actually think I'm gunna cheat a little bit and do Kenpo X again (as today is my Day 7)!!

Terminator Salvation

I've been meaning to watch this movie for soo long!
and finally I can =).. in bed since I'm still a bit sick.

I woke up at 5 am in the morning and I was craving a hot bubble bath.. ugh I was just about to turn the water on when my mother woke up and caught me in the act.. she gave me some drugs and I went back to bed, sleeping like a baby.

Ugh how rude! Sometimes I wish I lived on my own and took my baths whenever I wanted = (when the water runs in the house its the loudest noise ever and disturbs every1.. except 4 me, naturally lol)

Aneways..I'm home alone now.. and am free to do as I please.. starring at my lap top too long makes my head hurt tho..so I'm gunna try to hook up the comp to my TV =) Bigger is better.. mmm and this way I can enjoy my hottie Christian Bale on the big screen!

In need of hotter days 'n sunshine,

Augie

Itinerary

So my love is almost out of school and I am super excited to have a whole summer to spend with him!
Last year he missed out on summer, literally. He went up north to Nunavut to work on his thesis project.. so I shall take advantage of these warm sunny days and spend all I can with him.

First trip= Lindsay Ontario.. I got accepted to Fleming college (around Peterborough) and I'd like to check out the campus n talk with some ppls about the program. Nelson is going there as well in September so it would be neat to get to go to school with him.

Next trips= strawberry picking.. (lol) Nelson loves strawberries.. but how much he will like picking them, iunno.. we'll find out.

Niagara Falls weekend.. visit Niagara On the Lake cuz it is pure lush there! then maybe stay a night and go to Cliftion Hill, the Maid on the Mist.. Marineland? (is that place still open? haha)

Oh, taking bikes/roller blades to Niagara Falls by VIA Rail and biking around =) woot

Beaches.. when it gets warmer.. oh and I wanna cross the border maybe for some shopping =)

My schedule for the next couple weeks isn't that full. There's not a lot of work in the pharmacy now so I only work Fridays and Saturdays. I also have a piano exam in August so I shall be playing my heart out throughout summer. With all this spare time I shall go out.. and maybe paint my fence (my othherr fence.. it feels like all i've been doing is painting lol) .. i also got some nice canna lilies for the deck..i love those flowers..so I shall garden some more as well =)

Cheers!