You Know You're Polish When...

I've combined some of the best "facts" about Polaks =)
This brought on the laughs cuz it just happens to be true...

-You or some1 you know has a white and red PL sticker proudly displayed on the back windshield of their car.
-You sing the same song "100 Lat" (100 years) on every occasion (birthday,weddings, baby showers)
-You watch soccer and always "know" they're gunna win the World Cup, meanwhile they don;t make it past the first round :(
-You know very well who Pope John Paul II is, and know his name was Karol not Carol.
-Your grandmother has a picture of the Pope right next to your school photo.
-You take cabbage to the extreme- in pierogi and in body cleanser.
-You like to put sour cream, horse raddish, or beer on everything you eat (I like ketchup + horse radish haha).
-You go to midnight mass every Christmas Eve and keep you tree up till February.
-You share "oplatek" on Christmas Eve and bless your food during Easter (You open presents on Christmas Eve)
-You regularly attend mass but spend most of the ceremony sleeping or reading the bulletin (I like to run away in my thoughts haha) but when asked you are a devout Catholic.
-Your church has a fully loaded bar.
-You kiss on the cheek 3 times, not 2.
-You have at least one uncle named Stan or "Stas".
-Your cute nicknames from your childhood stay with you as you age despite the huge difference btwn them and your original name (Augustynka, Agasia, Aga oh my!)
-You drink your wodka straight.
-You get along best with the Irish and blame all the problems of the world on the Germans and Russians (ha!).
-You know the difference between Czechs, Slovaks, and Slovenes- and you think they're all inferior to the Poles despite their glaring similarities.
-You are convinced your pets only understand Polish, so when your english friends come over that's why they ignore them.
-You can spot Polish ppl just as easily as Asians can spot Asian ppl- cuz they just have that "Polish look".
-You arrive one or two hours late at a party and think its normal.
-You talk for an hour at the front door when you are leaving.
-You have lace curtains (firanki) on at least one (if not all) windows in your house.
-Your house is full of medicine from the old country and its probably all illegal here.
-Your family owns a coffee grinder and a nut grinder.
-Your name always gets slaughtered on the first day of school.
-When you're at a stranger's house you expect the garbage to be under the sink.
-You know Chopin was Polish not French.
-You were speaking Polish before English.
-When your family considers mushroom picking good fun.
-When you and your friends speak english, you occasionally slip in Polish words and assume they know what you are saying.
-You occasionaly add the suffix "ski" to English words for no apparent reason; "I'm gunna put the car-ski in the garage-ski".
-Your dad carries around enough money to buy a car.
-Your car costs more than your college education.
-Your friend's parents talk to you like they're your parents, and you refer to them as "ciocia" or "wujek" even though you're not related.
-Your family is so loyal that even your second cousin will take a bullet for you.