Thursday, February 26, 2009

Chicken Soup for the Modest Soul

I am going to die of modesty!

There it is, I said it.

I am one modest byatch.
I am fighting this war against myself.
I find that when it comes to making important decisions... my modesty blinds me and I turn into this uncertain, somewhat lost human being.

I hate to brag or boast and 'empower' myself.

What am I afraid of?
I'm afraid of being hurt, I'm afraid of hurting people (cuz I know how hard it can be), and I'm afraid of being selfish.

I would rather accept pain and I would rather be hurt than having to hurt someone else. I would rather throw compliments at people than throw bricks at them. I avoid the negative..
How bullshit is this?

It's not being nice. This isn't a case of mean vs. nice.

It's a case of telling a friend, "You gained a lot of weight" vs. "You absorbed more curves in the wrong places, maybe eat an apple?"

LOL. In other words I do not shoot straight from the gun.. I twist and turn the truth. I tell it 'nicely' and somewhat altered from reality.

It just gets me thinking- am I lying to myself?

1 comment:

Princess said...

Once you're "somewhat" telling the truth...lol
Hey, if they ask, they want the truth. If they didn't want it they wouldn't ask.

I usually ask them the question right back..lol..may seem stupid but damn...I ain't their fricking advisor or personal "tell-me-the-truth-but-nicely-and-sugar-coated" servant...*frowns*